Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

It's legendary. It's infamous. It's one of those fabled artefacts that stirs the imagination and ignites...er, tingling in the loins? Yes indeed, this little bit of nowhere is all about the Hello Kitty vibrator. The article itself can be found here, for posterity sake of course:

http://www.asiansexgazette.com/asg/japan/japan02news06.htm

The history of the Hello Kitty vibrator

By Peter Payne
October 4, 2004

Sanrio is one of the top character licensors in the world, having more or less created the business model of doing business by creating something that doesn't really exist and licensing its use to other companies. Sanrio produces nothing -- all their characters, like the Little Twin Star, Minna no Ta-bo, Bad Batz-Maru, exist as legal entities and nothing more. Their most successful character, Hello Kitty, or Kitty-chan as she's known in Japan, is now now thirty years old.

One of the many companies that license Sanrio's characters for their products was a Japanese company called Genyo Co. Ltd. Genyo made a wide variety of products, from bento boxes to children's toys to chopsticks, many with the Hello Kitty character on them. They scored big in the late 1990's with an off-the-wall hit, a series of Hello Kitty toys which featured a different Kitty figure from each of Japan's 47 prefectures, each representing something the prefecture was famous for. (The figure from Gunma Prefecture, where we live, represented a wooden kokeshi doll.)

In 1997, Genyo designed a product that would live in infamy: the Hello Kitty vibrating shoulder massager, which really is a shoulder massager (trust us -- it says so on the package). Sanrio approved this design without batting an eye, and the product enjoyed modest sales in toy shops and in family restaurants like Denny's and Coco's. It wasn't until 1999 or so that people began to catch on to the fact that the Hello Kitty massager had other potential uses, and with amazing speed, they started popping up in adult videos in Japan. The next thing anyone knew, they had changed into a cult adult item, sold in vending machines in love hotels -- after all, what self-respecting man wouldn't buy his girl a Hello Kitty vibrator when she asked him for one?

The emergence of the Hello Kitty vibrator as a cult adult item caused friction between Sanrio and Genyo, and Sanrio ordered the company to stop making the units. Genyo refused, since it had paid a lot of money to license Kitty for their products. There seemed nothing Sanrio could do, since they had approved the item for sale (see the official Sanrio sticker on the boxes). The answer came when the Japanese tax authorities raided Genyo on suspicion of tax evasion. It seems that some creative accounting was going on between the president of the company, a Mr. Nakamura, his vice president, and the owner of the factory in China where the units were made. All three were arrested, and Sanrio had the excuse needed to yank Genyo's license. They seized the molds used to make the vibrators and destroyed them.

And so, the sad, weird chapter of the Hello Kitty vibrator is at an end. The last of the Kitty vibes are gone, so now what will the world do for wacky comic -- and sexual -- relief?

More information: http://www.jlist.com

Quote of the Day: "It's interesting to observe how the whole concept of harassment has changed over the years. You know, in my day, 'harass' was two words."

(Followed immediately by me remarking, "You know, it's amazing your wife hasn't killed you yet.")


posted by Phillip at 8:56 PM

 

Welcome to Bush Country? seemed like a pretty good title. It was witty and semi-ironic, and I thought that it was necessary given how grave everyone else seems to be in light of the election and its outcome. Of course, now that I posted that little bit of nowhere, suddenly inspiration has to give me this the next day:

And the Lord spake unto Moses, "Go into Washington and tell the President these words from the I Am: Let my Democrates go."

Though I don't think we'll be able to get Charleton Heston to lead them out. But it would be interesting to have him exclaim how they can have his part-the-Niagra-staff when they pry it from his cold, dead hands.

Speaking of the book of Exodus... http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=33168

Today's Lesson: inspiration is a fickle thing, and unfortunately it is the hand that feeds an author, so biting it tends to be counter-productive.


posted by Phillip at 7:17 PM

 

So George W. Bush wins the election after John Kerry concedes. Does that mean technically Bush won by default? To quote Homer Simpson: "The two sweetest words in the English language! De-fault!" For that matter, since he technically didn't win the last time around either, is it possible for him to find or acquire a loophole that lets him run for President another 2 times?

Hey, it worked for Richard Nixon's head. You never know!

In the meantime, the States are now proclaiming: "Welcome to Bush Country!" And obvious, as this CNN article tells us, everyone is pushing and shoving each other to get in!

OTTAWA, Canada (Reuters) -- Disgruntled Democrats seeking a safe Canadian haven after U.S. President George W. Bush won Tuesday's election should not pack their bags just yet.

Canadian officials made clear on Wednesday that any U.S. citizens so fed up with Bush that they want to make a fresh start up north would have to stand in line like any other would-be immigrants -- a wait that can take up to a year.

"Let me tell you -- if they're hard-working honest people, there's a process, and let them apply," Immigration Minister Judy Sgro told Reuters.

Asked whether American applicants would get special treatment, she replied: "No, they'll join the crowd like all the other people who want to come to Canada."

There are anywhere from 600,000 to a million Americans living in Canada, which leans more to the left than the United States and has traditionally favored the Democrats over the Republicans.

But statistics show a gradual decline in U.S. citizens coming to work and live in Canada, which has an ailing health care system and relatively high levels of personal taxation.

Government officials, real estate brokers and Democrat activists said that while some Americans might talk about moving to Canada rather than living with a new Bush administration, they did not expect a mass influx.

"It's one thing to say 'I'm leaving for Canada' and quite another to actually find a job here and wonder about where you're going to live and where the children are going to go to school," said one official.

Roger King of the Toronto-based Democrats Abroad group said he had heard nothing about a possible exodus of party members.

"I imagine most committed Democrats will want to stay in the United States and continue being politically active there," he said.

Americans seeking to immigrate can apply to become permanent citizens of Canada, a process that often takes a year. Becoming a full citizen takes a further three years.

The other main way to move north on a long-term basis is to find a job, which in all cases requires a work permit. This takes from four to six months to come through.

Statistics show the number of U.S. workers entering Canada dropped to 15,789 in 2002 from 21,627 in 2000. In 1981 some 10,030 Americans gained permanent residency, compared to 5,541 in 2003.

Asked if there had been signs of increased U.S. interest, Sgro said: "Not yet, but we'll see tomorrow."

The Canadian foreign ministry said there had been no increase in hits on the Washington embassy's immigration Web site, while housing brokers doubted they would see a surge in U.S. business.

"Canada's always open and welcoming to Americans who want to relocate here, but we don't think it would be a trend or movement," said Gino Romanese of Royal Lepage Residential Real Estate Services.

Those wishing to move to Canada could always take a risk and claim refugee status -- the path chosen earlier this year by two U.S. deserters who opposed the Iraq war.

"Anybody who enters Canada who claims refugee status will be provided with a work permit...it doesn't matter what country they're from," said an immigration ministry spokeswoman.

Refugee cases are handled by special boards, which can take months to decide whether to admit applicants. The rulings can be appealed and opposition politicians complain some people ordered deported have been in Canada for 10 years or more.

Today's Ironic Question: now that Kerry has conceded and given Bush the victory in the election, what might the first words out of Kerry's mouth be should he discover that, amazingly, he actually won the election? And would they have to be censored?


posted by Phillip at 6:57 PM

 

The location of our kiosk being in a mall, we see all sorts of kids and teenagers every day. Sometimes we see more of them than we'd like, courtesy of those half-days for high school. But then again, there are occasions where their presence makes life a little more interesting on days when I'm almost discovering that it is in fact possible to die from boredom.

A day or two ago, a 13 year-old boy was walking by our kiosk, his close group of friends with him, when suddenly he spotted one of our suede hats. With all the excitement of a rabbit discovering how delicious the taste of human flesh is for the first time (thanks again, Baboo, you carnivorous little bugger!), the 13 year-old had to stop and try the hat on. He then turned around to his friends and showed off how he looked with the hat, all the while exclaiming how cool it was.

I had not the heart to tell him it was a ladies hat he had on.

In other news, just when I think the people at our Head Office responsible for buying new styles of luggage couldn't be on any more crack, what to my disbelieving eyes should appear? Is it a tie-dye shirt? Is it a lava lamp? Is it a paisley shirt that's become radioactive? No, it's the latest piece of luggage, direct from the makers of "I Can't Believe It's Not Pastel-Coloured!"

If you can picture a carry-on suitcase that looks like all three of these aforementioned things horribly spliced together, and then electrified to a brighteness of ridiculously-neon proportions, then you will no doubt nod your heads and agree with me that those wacky buyers at Head Office have found a new kind of crack to enjoy at the water cooler.

There are times where I wonder if having a fashion sense means you've lost any sense of taste. Or decency...

Today's Paranoia Propaganda: if zombie movies have taught us one thing, it's that no good comes of resurrecting dead things. When will people learn that bringing back the 70's may spell disaster for us all?


posted by Phillip at 5:55 PM